Koi and Fish Series, Coloured Pencils on Gesso Board, Copyright Paula Kuitenbrouwer
Why are Koi so mesmerizing? Why are people willing to pay thousands of Euro’s for a pretty ‘Asagi’, a blue Koi? I know now. Recently I sat next to a large pond with koi with beautiful colours and patterns. I looked at them for some time. I got mesmerized. Mindfully I asked myself why I was I so intensely enjoying sitting next to this pond and looking at the slow and gently moving fish? Suddenly I understood.
The pond with Koi had become my thinking. Each koi fish represented one thought, a thought that lighted up against the dark, deep pond. Thoughts, like fish, swam in and out of my mind. The more the fish got used to me and I to them, the slower they appeared and disappeared. My whole thinking process became more like a flow; it slowed down and became less demanding. I’d let my thoughts come and go while I was aware of their coming and going. Sitting by the pond and looking at the colourful, smooth swimming fish became a meditation.
Has this meditation helped me to understand the obsession with koi carp and the willingness to spend a monthly salary on a beautiful Asagi? Yes, I do understand now, but that doesn’t mean I became so obsessed because that is a choice. However, I decided to draw a Koi-series to capture the meditation experience. Every time I look at my drawing, I like to feel that meditation again. And I hope others feel it too while looking at my drawing.